arr! Arr! ARr! ARR!

We are the pirates who don t do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don t do anything!

Well, I ve never been to Greenland,
And I've never been to Denver,
And I ve never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul,
And I ve never been to Moscow,
And I ve never been to Tampa,
And I ve never been to Boston in the fall!

'Cause We're the pirates who don t do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don t do anything!

And I ve never hoist the mainstay,
And I ve never swabbed the poop deck,
And I ve never veer to starboard,
Cause I never sail at all.

And I ve never walked the gangplank,
And I ve never owned a parrot,
And I ve never been to Boston in the fall!

'Cause were the pirates who don t do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don t do anything!

Well, I've never plucked a rooster,
And I'm not too good at ping pong,
And I ve never thrown my mashed potaters,
Up against the wall.

And I ve never kissed a chipmunk,
And I ve never gotten head lice,
And I ve never been to Boston in the Fall!

(Spoken part)
Pirate Captain's Log, 2002,
Who be this band Relient K?
And why be they so full of contradictions?

We don't know, what he did,
but we're down with Captain Kidd,
We don't wake up late for lunch,
But we all eat Captain Crunch,
We don't smoke,
We don't chew,
We watch Captain Kangaroo!

And I ve never licked a spark plug,
And I ve never sniffed a stinkbug,
And I ve never painted daises,
On a big red rubber ball.

And I ve never bathed in yogurt,
And I don t look good in leggings,
And I ve never been to Boston in the fall!

(Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give them a hand!)
We are the pirates who don't do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
and if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don't do anything!

We are the pirates who don't do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
and if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don't do anything!